While many citizens of the United States are finding the presidential election a bit…uninspiring, a handful of brewers are feeling quite the opposite. A spate of beers that celebrate—and by that I mean downright roast—the election are popping up all over. Shockingly, I was hard-pressed to find any beers that were complimentary to either of our candidates, so all the beers below are listed in the spirit of equal opportunity mockery.
Hillary Clinton
As the Democratic party’s candidate, Secretary Clinton has some pretty creative beers inspired by her personal and political life, as well as her husband’s.
Hillary’s Pantsuit
Odin Brewing Company (Seattle, Washington)
Brewer’s Description: “Hillary is a well-rounded extra pale, pale ale. We deny any involvement in making this beer and are trying really, really hard to like it.”
If we all know something, it’s this: nobody can rock a pantsuit quite like Secretary Clinton. And how “fitting” that somebody has glorified her choice of apparel with a beer. This beer was made exclusively for the Washington Brewers Festival, along with other beers that paid tribute to Donald and Bernie.
Crooked Hillary (aka Rye Cheat & Steal)
Crooked Handle Brewing (Springboro, Ohio)
Brewer’s Description: “Refreshing, crisp, and light bodied with the addition of rye malt to enhance the character of Chinook hops.”
This beer is Crooked Handle’s Rye Cheat & Steal but with an appropriate election-year twist. The brewery is hosting its own election where patrons can “vote” by buying either Secretary Clinton’s beer tribute, or Deplorable Donald (aka Tangled Tangerine). And for those who are looking to make a less partisan beer choice, there’s always Roadside to the Whitehouse (aka Roadside Peanut Butter Porter).
Chill Clinton Double Hemp Amber
Exile Brewing Company (Des Moines, Iowa)
Brewer’s Description: Columbus, Cascade, and Centennial hops create dank hops notes and add balance to a malty mouthfeel. Seven hundred fifty pounds of hemp seeds add a delicate nuttiness.”
So technically this beer isn’t about Hillary, but rather, her hubby (aka our former POTUS). I think most of us can remember him insisting he didn’t inhale (whatever helps him sleep at night), and this beer invites him to, at the very least, take a swig of the stuff.
Donald Trump
As the candidate for the Republican party, Trump has had a very…interesting start to his political career, and brewers have been all too happy to brew beers that pay homage to the various bits and pieces and sound bites along the way.
Win Bigly (and Vanilla Win Bigly)
Transient Artisan Ales (Bridgeman, Missouri)
Brewer’s Description: “Imperial Cream Stout. Formerly known as ‘This is Neat.’ “
Even though it is indeed grammatically correct, “win bigly” has become the punchline of many jokes (much like the candidate who loves to use the phrase). The beer can be found on bottles and on tap, and you might win bigly yourself if you can find it on nitro.
Trumpaloompa
Historic Brewing Company (Flagstaff, Arizona)
Brewer’s Description: “Trumpaloompa is everything Mr. Trump is not: visually striking, honest in flavor, true to style, and it’s a beer (not a racist). We guarantee our nominee for winter office will not disappoint constituents near and far. Boasting an intense malt body and a strong presence of blood orange, making a notable presence like Donnie's beloved hair piece.”
Tell us how you really feel, Historic Brewing. I’m sure it’s completely coincidental that Trumpaloompa clocks in at 6.66 percent ABV, and I give props to the brewmaster who had to dial in some wicked precise specific gravity readings (I’m tipping my hair piece to you, good sir or madam).
Mr. Trump, Tear Down This Wall
Belching Beaver (Vista, California)
Brewer’s Description: “Dry Hopped Belgian Pale. Collaboration with Silenus (Tijuana) & Fauna (Mexicali).”
Ronald Reagan couldn’t have said it better himself. This Belgian strong is a collaboration with two Mexican breweries, Silenus Cerveza Artesanal and Cerveza Fauna, and is a sparkling example of international brewing diplomacy.
For All the Undecideds Out There
It’s a tough choice to have to make, and maybe you haven’t found a candidate convincing enough to put your vote behind. For all of you (and for the non-U.S. friends who are playing along), here are a few brews to choose from.
POTUS
Schlafly (St. Louis, Missouri)
Schlafly took the diplomatic approach and created a crisp light lager, and candidate-affiliated drinkware to go with it, that celebrates both candidates. And, because they’re awesomely frank about the political climate, they offer a black pint glass for those of us who are just sick of politics in general.
Election Fatigue
Revolution Brewing (Chicago, Illinois)
Brewer’s Description: “English imperial stout on cask. Chocolate, molasses, and a nice deep roast.”
With election coverage starting earlier and earlier in the process (thank you, twenty-four-hour news cycle), by the time elections roll around, most of us are pretty much sick of everybody who runs for president. Revolution understands those people and offers up a delicious way to get through the long haul.
Swing State
Sibling Revelry (Westlake, Ohio)
Brewer’s Description: “A dry-hopped, light-bodied American Pale Ale. A light malt body with a citrusy hops character leads to a dry hoppy finish.”
If any state can keep things interesting in this election season, it’s Ohio, which is where Sibling Revelry is located. There, you can get in on the battleground-state action or sit back with a beer and enjoy the show.
All right, it’s time for you get in on the action. While we’re definitely not asking for your presidential vote, we’d love to know which of the beers you vote for above (using the write-in option below, of course).